I know I have been very vague, and I know my posts have been far from interesting. I have spoken about the confusion that was raging in my head, and the calm that came after I prayed really, really hard. Now, I am neither confused, nor am I calm – I’m absolutely furious.
Let’s take this from the top, shall we?
Sometime ago, I met a guy. After about four or five encounters, we actually spoke once. Somehow, a conversation over text message was struck up, and went on for a few days. (That’s right, the conversation went on for a few DAYS!)
We made it categorically clear to each other that we were both not interested in a relationship – for different reasons. His were prior commitments, and mine were prior heartbreaks. Fair enough. It was a promising friendship nonetheless, because I honest to God enjoyed talking to him.
Then the signals changed dramatically. Of course, I was really taken aback by this, and I honestly second-guessed myself repeatedly. I kept telling myself I was imagining all of this. As an aside, I am not prone to making these assumptions because I have very low self-esteem. Therefore my brain was vehemently arguing against the notion that I was reading too much into too little.
So what’s a girl supposed to do?
Well I don’t know about any other girl, but I ignored the signals. (Remember our respective reasons? Good.) I just wanted to be friends.
The signals continued. I continued ignoring them. I was hoping for a close friend. Never mind that I was starting to like this guy. I am quite capable of putting my own emotions on a very tight leash. Really.
And then what happens?
The messages practically stop. I receive no replies to my messages. I make allowances for busy schedules and commitments; I am second-guessing left right and centre.
Then I get one message at the dead of night: “Good night”. I respond in kind, half asleep. The conversation ends. I figure the next morning, I need to make the first overture. I do. No response. I shrug.
Next night? Another “Good night”. Morning? I send a message. No response. I start to lose my temper.
Same evening, I send a message specifically designed to be a gambit. I know this is a message that he will respond to for sure. If he does, he received the one in the morning, and ignored it. So it’s a sort of test.
He fails. Why? Because 10 seconds after I send the message, I get a response.
I am so through with this guy. I can do without my head being messed up again.
Feelings? What feelings?